21

"Winner, winner, chicken dinner!"

3 Stars

I was, in the beginning, really excited to see the story of the MIT Blackjack Team.
I wanted a "true story", but I got a movie "based on actual events". In other words, a good story for a Hollywood movie.

Based on the book Bringing Down the House, 21 is the story of a group of MIT math students who used their smarts to count cards and take the house(es) of Vegas.
And a-one two three four, you know the rest.
Big wins, no worries, someone gets lost in the game, and then it's not fun anymore, and then you're caught.

One thing that I was really disappointed with was that there was no real "good times" montage. Hello? These are college kids in Vegas, winning whale like money, and they show just a clip or two of them in a limo, and shopping at Louis Vuitton. I've made a better Vegas "good times" montages, and I'm no where near high roller status.

The ending was very Hollywood.
I was hoping to see at least a short court scene, but it was taken in a direction that had me saying "What?".
I remembered when this whole MIT thing went down in the 90's. It was fascinating! I think the Vegas Gaming Commission should have fronted some money for the movie development to show the true story, and to prove that if you count cards, you get caught.
I bet those MIT students aren't having any "good times" montages now. But according to this movie, everyone's fine.
I expected more.

Hostel : Part II

"What's the code?!"

"Fuck! You!"

3 Stars

Awe man, that line killed me!!
I was hecka laughing, to hear it is
just so funny.
Even though this is a horror movie,
I found I laughed a whole lot. I watched it with my boyfriend and a couple other friends, and really, that's the way to watch it. Otherwise I would have gotten really fed up and turned it off halfway through.

I did see the first one. I liked it. I thought it was a well rounded horror flick, and it felt new. Quentin Tarantino backing it didn't hurt either, and he's behind this one too.

Return to the place where all your nightmares come true in this sequel the the hit gore fest. When three young American take a break from their international studies and check in to a Slovakian hostel, they have no idea they've walked into a chamber of horrors, where, for a price, wealthy psychopaths can live out their most gruesome fantasies by torturing and murdering visitors.

What was really fun was to see Heather Matarazzo (Welcome to The Dollhouse) all grown up. She does some frontal nudity too. In the first Hostel there were boobs left and right, geeze. So in this one Eli Roth gives us some male frontal. Ooo la la.

There's really not much else to say about this movie. It's horror, it's fun, and I highly recommend watching it with friends. If you do, having one person around whose particularly squeamish makes the movie that much better.

Perfume

"That's a really good perfume."



3 Stars

(He's so cute when he says that!) But besides that, what was up with this movie?
The first three quarters are great! The passion, the curiosity, the transcendental emotions of scent... awesome. But WTF was that ending about?

When I first saw the preview of this I was in. As it played in theaters I heard some terrible reviews on it.
I still gave it a chance, and wow, it was beautiful.
The period was great (some real grit just how I like it), and this boy's passion, and extraordinary gift of scent that drives him mad. Sounds good...
But would you really attach the term "orgy" to that?
Yeah. Not to be a spoiler, but the end is a huge mess of an orgy! What?! I just felt that it was so gratuitous, and very very unnecessary. It's like they took a perfectly good movie, and wrecked it with nonsense. I understand it was based on a novel, and maybe the written word explains it better, or sensual, or... something. Ugh.
Apart from Dustin Hoffman's performance, I wouldn't recommend this to anyone.
Pah-leez.

Elizabeth : The Golden Age

"I have a hurricane in side me that will strip Spain bare if you dare try me!!"

3 Stars

I really really wanted this to be as great as the first, and it seemed hopeful considering the collaborations were the same. But there was something missing. Since I can't put my finger on it, I personally think there was something, or someone impassioned about the project and that came through. Ya know, bad vibes kinda thing. If there is love in the work, it totally comes through. Not too much love here.

I do on the other hand have nothing but praise for every element of the movie! For me it was so hard to concentrate on the movie because the costumes are breathtaking! Craftsmanship on top of craftsmanship. The details, without even knowing it, felt thoroughly researched. The hair, the jewelry, the corsetry, and the distinction of countries among the men's dress. Awesome.

The acting was great! Though one thing...the guy who plays Don Guerau De Spes (William Houston) has the biggest lips coming out of that beard. He looked like a talking monkey, and that was very distracting considering most his dialogue has some merit to the plot. I was too involved with his lips!
Cate Blanchett is a timeless actor. She brings it to everything she does, and when I see her name I know I'm in good hands.
Clive Owen. Aww hell. (See Children of Men review, and you'll know what I'm talking about.) As pretty as he is, I think he may have been miscast. Kills me to say that.
Samantha Morton appears as Queen Mary Stuart, and I got really excited. Of course she's in this because she's perfect for this role. I've never cared for her role choices too much
(I felt Hattie in Sweet and Low Down was her best), but I feel she's a great talent.
She will get an Oscar some day.

In the first Elizabeth we witness her reluctant, then stoic journey to the thrown of England. Now we get to see her in action as she protects her country from Spain, and their holy war. One question I keep rolling over, is what happened to these epic women? Like Hatshepsut, the great Pharaoh of Egypt? Or Semiramis the Assyrian Queen? What made them (in those ignorant times) gain the respect and power that has always been reserved for the male? They must have been made of pure strength, and energy to carry so much.

On top of all this lies one true, true fact. Elizabeth is a woman. It can't be denied.
For me the movie was about this tender balance of our female nature, and that of extreme power.
In the movie there is this love...thing. I don't want to cheapen it by calling it a triangle, but lets use that for now. She really likes Raleigh, he likes her, her maid likes him they like each other, you get it.
This is how our (women's) minds work. Give us stress, give us a situation, and we will handle it. But, if there is some sort of nagging thing, for example this interest she has for Raleigh, it can be just as consuming as the original situation. So it's double the stress and pressure.
Liz wants to be "The Queen", yet she wants so badly to be a woman. Similar yes, to the first film, but now she certain of where her duty lies, and it hurts. I get it.

After the film a quote from another movie summed up the matter of Liz for me.

"The men who resent my success won't give me the time of day, and the men who respect my success won't give me the time of night."
- Down with Love

The King

"We're going to hell."

3 Stars

Eh.. I guess I was just expecting more. The previews of this really looked along the lines of Down in the Valley. The difference being that this movie lacked passion, because the story just didn't let you in on it.

After serving time in the Navy, 21 year old Elvis (Gael Garcia Bernal) decides to look up the father (William Hurt) that abandoned him as a child, only to find him working as a small town pastor with a new wife, and two teenage children. While his father is unwilling to disrupt his life to reconcile with his son, Elvis refuses to be ignored, taking drastic measures to insert himself into the family.

Well that's what the jacket says. I didn't get that too clearly. From the beginning I wasn't really sure of the relationship between Elvis and the pastor, but it seemed like they were father and son. And if so, is he really hooking up with his sister?! Elvis really feels like he has some sort of motive for everything he's doing, but I just wasn't able to see what. I can only assume it was payback.

Bernal is such a great actor. Is it just me or have you noticed that in most films starring Bernal they waste no time getting him in a sex scene. And lots of 'em. What sign is he?
Also in this movie is that silent guy from Little Miss Sunshine. He's a little intense actor too. During the last World Series of Pop Culture I lost a question that had his name in it. So just in case you find yourself in the same situation his name is Paul Dano.
Impress your friends.

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance

"Be white.
Live white.
Like this."

3 Stars

I was recommended this movie by many outlets, seeing how much I enjoyed the now cult classic Oldboy by the same director Chan-wook Park. If you haven't seen that movie do it now, before the US tries to ruin it.
These movies are part of a revenge trilogy by Park. The last being Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, which I have yet to see. Though nothing, I mean absolutely nothing with compare to Oldboy, I was thrilled to know that there were others just as twisted.

After a 13-year imprisonment for the kidnap and murder of a 6 year old boy, beautiful Lee Guem-ja starts seeking revenge on the man that was really responsible for the boy's death. With the help of fellow inmates and reunited with her daughter, she gets closer and closer to her goal. But will her actions lead to the relief she seeks?

This movie was really slow compered to its ending. When I got to the last half of the movie I thought,
"Now this is the movie I was wanting to watch!". Without giving away too much, Lee captures the man responsible for not only the boy's death, but the death of four other children. She then gathers the parents of each child, and asks what she should do with him. That whole scenario was nail biting.

Not enough gore for me. But I do like the sadism throughout though. To tell you the truth after this film I'm not too excited to see Mr. Vengeance. But it's a trilogy so I'll give it a shot. Let's hope for 2 out of 3.

Plot summary courtesy of IMDb.com.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

"I'm not living with you!
We occupy the same cage, that's all."

3 Stars

I didn't plan to watch so many vintage movies this month, my queue just lined up that way. I do however remember putting this one on it.
My boyfriend gave me a great book by Elizabeth Taylor called My Love Affair with Jewelry. Her stories are so detailed, and through the book I really started to like Liz, and I wanted to see more of her movies. This one is supposed to be a classic so here goes.

A southern family celebrates the homecoming of their wealthy father "Big Daddy" (and they say that name constantly!) played by Burl Ives. Everyone is awaiting the news about his health. If Big Daddy croaks, someones gotta get the money. Brick, played by Paul Newman, who is obviously the favorite son has developed a drinking problem and everyone wants to know why. Including his wife Maggie the Cat, infamously played by Elizabeth Taylor. And Big Daddy's daughter has filled the house with her annoying kids that won't sit still, or shut-up!

I've seen her deliver the line "I feel like a cat on a hot tin roof!" a number of times, so I wasn't too impressed. (That's me with the hype again.) As the movie progressed I realized everyone in this movie feels like that. They just want to jump off!
The film has great monologues from everyone in the family letting it all hang out. I was crackin' up when Big Daddy was yelling at his wife. So funny.

The biggest blow out of the film is between Maggie, Brick, and Big Daddy. When it comes out why Brick is an alcoholic, my view of this movie drastically changed.
After a bad accident, Brick had to give up his career as a pro-football player. Sounds reasonable. But then we find out it's not football he's grieving it's his "best friend" Skipper. He goes on about how no one could ever know how much he cared for him.
I then remembered that this is written by Tennessee Williams. Wasn't he gay? Yup.
I started to watch the film now with the impression that Brick is gay. Very well written.

From the beginning the family is on Maggie's case because she's not pregnant yet. Then, he pours his heart out about his love for Skipper. Maggie complains that Skipper was more important to Brick than her.
When asked by Big Daddy why he drinks Brick answers, "I'm ashamed, Big Daddy. That's why I'm a drunk."

OOOoooo, how rrrandy!!

Sex and Lucia

"- Soon you'll fall in love with me.
- I think I just did."

3 Stars

Oh my god!! If I wanted to watch porn I would have turned on my boyfriend's computer! Sheesh. Netflix has been recommending this movie to me for so long I finally gave in. It wasn't terrible, and yes, I read the title, but I really wasn't up for so much gratuitous sex.

Any plot summaries I read can't really explain this film. Unfortunately I don't think I can do any better but her goes. Lucia is a waitress who has been dating a writer named Lorenzo for a couple of years. His life takes a dark turn, and after his mysterious death Lucia retreats to the island that haunted Lorenzo for so long, perhaps hoping to discover his secret.
Yeah, that sounds good! And remember, it's all fun until someone gets pregnant.

And the plot was good. I enjoyed how the story weaved in and out of these peoples lives. It does get kind of confusing. As a viewer, I had to assume some things until they were revealed. I know this technique is used in some movies in order to tell the story, but I don't think that was the case in this film.

I was just really turned off by the amount of unnecessary sex scenes. Who sold this movie? "We'll show everything, but penetration. It'll be hot." I'm so glad I wasn't in a movie theater for this one. The floors are sticky from soda alone, I could only imagine that screening.

Phat Girlz

"Poo-Doo, POW!"

3 Stars

How cute was this movie? (Poo-Doo POW has become my new catchphrase by the way.) From my other reviews you may know that I'm a big Mo'Nique fan, so when I saw the previews with her in it AND the location was Palm Springs, I knew I was in.

Mo'Nique stars as Jazmin, a sassy fashion designer frustrated with trying to fit into a size 2 world. Together with a rotund cohort, the ever outspoken Jazmin struggles with her weight -- and finding love and acceptance -- until one day the plump pair meet the men of their dreams..where they least expect to find romance.

The film quality is really indie, but the message comes through loud and clear. I can see some folks turning it off right away because it looks really cheap. I really enjoyed it, the writing and Mo's delivery really made me laugh.

Being a larger girl, I really hate confidence boosting fat women movies. I never can identify with most of those women. I don't feel dumpy (Well, not all the time, but we all have our days...), and I've always felt I've got a good amount of sex appeal, yet my size and my weight equal otherwise to most. That's one reason why I love Mo'Nique (First and foremost I love her comedy). She makes absolutely no apologies for her body. I love how she uses her size as power, and her sarcasm is flawless. The things that come out of her mouth, have at some point crossed my mind, or better yet have come out of my mouth too. You can't fuck wit her! And you've gotta love her. That's what this movie's about.

Plot summary courtesy of Netflix

Don't Move

"Keep me.
Come when you want, once a month, once a year,
but keep me."

3 Stars

I have a personal checklist of movies I want to watch. At the moment I am working through the work of Penelope Cruz. I didn't like her for a long time, but after Blow and Vanilla Sky (The original Spanish version Open Your Eyes is what got her noticed in the states.) I was felt she has true talent. And she does. Number one PC movie Don't Temp Me, and number 10 PC movie Don't move.


The daughter of a top surgeon is admitted to his hospital after what could be a fatal traffic accident. As he waits to hear of his daughters condition he reminisces about his life before he became a father. Married to a gorgeous wife (who I feel really looks like model Adrian Curry), he has a strange affair with an almost unrecognizable Penelope Cruz, Italia.

When his car breaks down in a small town, Italia lets him use her house phone and he rapes her...I think.
Back home he just can't cope with his actions, and returns to Italia to appologize. He rapes her again (?) but this time he pays her! This guys nuts, and so it this movie for trying to portay that these rapes are making her fall in love with this man. Rape --> Prostitution --> Love Affair...? That's how it goes.

Throughout this movie I just kept trying to understand this relationship they have. As the story shakes out he really does love this ugly duckling of a woman. She reminds me of Jerry Blank from Strangers with Candy. Ratty hair with bad highlights, kohl rimmed eyes, a gap in her overbite, a slight uni-brow, and she walks like a man in heels. One scene he takes her to dinner in a fancy hotel. She did her hair, and tried to do her make up better so she'd look nice. She still looked tow-up, but it was endearing. By the end of this movie I was really warmed to this couple.

This movie has one sex scene after another. Oh please. We get it, it's a foreign film! They just love that.
I found it a bit much.

The moral of the story, it's good times till someone gets knocked up.

Big

"I wish I were...big."

3 Stars

An oldie but a goodie. After watching that POS movie Storytelling I found Big on On Demand and it was just perfect. A great sick movie. Even though it's an 80's classic (1988) it still holds up! The clothes may be a little dated, but everything else it pretty timeless.

It was also great to Hanks before he became Mr. Serious. I would love to see him do a comedy again.
I think America misses that cute, charming Hanks.
I was impressed with Hanks all over again. His posture, and fidgeting was perfect.
Great scene : Josh's first night in New York City in a shitty motel. He hears a man yelling in Spanish to someone on the phone. We watch as this kid in a man's body shrinks into himself as he sits in a chair staring at the door so scared. Great acting.

If you grew up watching this movie like I did, you know you get the heebies when you pass one of those fortune teller boxes in an arcade. Do you check if it's plugged in? I do.

I wondered what happened to these kids. I looked up the actor David Moscow who played the young Josh. He's gotten a lot of work. He's currently working on the movie Bull Run. He looks good.
Jared Rushton who played the redheaded friend Billy. He kind of disappeared in the mid 90s after Honey I Shrunk the Kids. As for Elizabeth Perkins who played Josh's love interest, she's had a great career including 2 Golden Globe nomiations. Currently she's starring in the Showtime series Weeds. She still looks great.

There's much to be said about the 3 Star movie. It may not the best, but not the worst movie. There's a great comfort in them like mashed potatoes. They are the movies I reach for when my nose is running, and I just want to feel good. Don't forget these movie gems. It's fun to sit and revisit them once in a while.

A Good Woman

"Women don't trust women. Men don't trust women. Nobody trusts women.
It's what bind the Hindu and the Catholics."

3 Stars

On the bright side, this is a great chick flick or date movie. After I came to that conclusion I was able to enjoy it better. On the dimmer side I feel this movie was miscast.

Set in 1930 this story follows a well known gold digging mistress (played by Helen Hunt) from New York, where she's run out of married men to suck dry, to Italy where she plans to start all over. Her new prey is the husband to Mrs. Windermere played by Scarlett Johansson. The gossip circles spin wildly, and everyone know about Mr. Windermere's dalliances but his wife.

Scarlett is gorgeous in this 30s setting, but I just wasn't buying her naivety or that she is "in" this period.
As for Helen Hunt, I don't think breast enhancements were too popular in 1930. Fashion history tells the stories of women smashing those things down. The reason why this is such and eye sore is because the rest of the movie looks so accurate! The shots of Italy are beautiful, and the costumes are great, but those breasts just bring you back to 2007.

I did find it difficult to find a good quote. There were far too many great ones! Then when the movie ended the first credit read, Based on the play A Good Woman by Oscar Wilde. Enough said.

A question. What makes men spend so much money on "the other woman"? It's got to be shut up money right? But everyone finds out anyway, so save the money!

The Weight of Water

"Women's motives are always
more concealed than men's."

3 STARS

Very Swimming Pool. If you've ever seen that movie, this is like the American version.

Starring Sean Penn, Elizabeth Hurley, Josh Lucas, and Catherine McCormack. Yet the best performance was by supporting actress Sarah Polley.

Two couples aboard a small yacht in New Hampshire mixing business with pleasure. McCormack's character is a writer/photographer (Much like the lead in Swimming Pool, now that I think of it.) who's doing a piece on the murder of two sisters on a small island off of NH in 1873. The rest are along for the ride, and early on McCormack gets very annoying with her ramblings of the murder while the others are just trying to have a good time. I found myself saying out load to her, "Geeze, shut up." A real party pooper.

The film went from passed (1873) to present, and I enjoyed the 1873 movie better. Sarah Polly played the lead in the 1873 story, and did a great job at conveying the character's stone depression and possible madness. Great job by her. Penn plays a poet, and his quips were really annoying to me as well. But he's hot, so that adds one full star already. Hurley just posed through the whole movie. In a bikini or less, tossing her hair in the wind, "Oh please.".

These movies, Swimming Pool and The Weight of Water, have a similar formula. A murder of passion + intense shots of eye contact (She looks at him. Then he looks at her. Then she looks away.) + a couple of explicit sex scenes with high tension strings soundtrack (Because then it's "tasteful".) + a lukewarm climax of action = Official Selection of the Cannes Film Festival.