Raising Arizona : Early Spring Pick

"Son, you got a pantie on your head."

5 Stars

This week I've probably watched this one about 5 times start to finish. I can't get enough!
It's just perfect for this weather, and hell...it makes me laugh!

Raising Arizona is the story of H.I. McDunnough played by a young good lookin' Nicolas Cage. In and out of prison for armed robbery, he falls head over heals for Ed "Short for Edwina. Turn to the right!" played by Holly Hunter. Soon after they marry she discovers she's baron, and they decide to kidnap a baby from Nathan Arizona who's wife gave birth to quintuplets.

The Coen Brothers are brilliant. I am really curious why they are so fascinated with the deep south, and John Goodman who has been a staple in many Coen Brother films. And why not? He's perfectly cast in each one.

It was so hard to pick just one quote from this movie. Check back, it might change from time to time.
Every time I see it I get a new favorite.

If you've never seen this one now is the perfect time of year. There's just something about the dusty desert landscapes, and the gritty southern characters. Not to mention the theme song. I can whistle that one for hours! Come July when I get my new cell phone this song will me my ring tone.

Big

"I wish I were...big."

3 Stars

An oldie but a goodie. After watching that POS movie Storytelling I found Big on On Demand and it was just perfect. A great sick movie. Even though it's an 80's classic (1988) it still holds up! The clothes may be a little dated, but everything else it pretty timeless.

It was also great to Hanks before he became Mr. Serious. I would love to see him do a comedy again.
I think America misses that cute, charming Hanks.
I was impressed with Hanks all over again. His posture, and fidgeting was perfect.
Great scene : Josh's first night in New York City in a shitty motel. He hears a man yelling in Spanish to someone on the phone. We watch as this kid in a man's body shrinks into himself as he sits in a chair staring at the door so scared. Great acting.

If you grew up watching this movie like I did, you know you get the heebies when you pass one of those fortune teller boxes in an arcade. Do you check if it's plugged in? I do.

I wondered what happened to these kids. I looked up the actor David Moscow who played the young Josh. He's gotten a lot of work. He's currently working on the movie Bull Run. He looks good.
Jared Rushton who played the redheaded friend Billy. He kind of disappeared in the mid 90s after Honey I Shrunk the Kids. As for Elizabeth Perkins who played Josh's love interest, she's had a great career including 2 Golden Globe nomiations. Currently she's starring in the Showtime series Weeds. She still looks great.

There's much to be said about the 3 Star movie. It may not the best, but not the worst movie. There's a great comfort in them like mashed potatoes. They are the movies I reach for when my nose is running, and I just want to feel good. Don't forget these movie gems. It's fun to sit and revisit them once in a while.

Storytelling

"You had a bad time? Well too bad!"

1 Star

Along the same line as Happiness, but with one large difference...Happiness was good! Yuck, I hated this movie. Because I rated Happiness so high on Netflix they recommended this one to me over and over and I finally gave in. I knew I was ignoring it for a reason.

The beginning Selma Blair story was just pure shock, and literally made me queasy with disgust. No wonder why The Howard Stern Show plays this sound byte from time to time. Really offencive.

The begging credits showed Bell and Sebastian as the main music direction. That should have tipped me off that this movie was going to stink.

The second story starring Paul Giamatti is so tedious, and you can tell the film is trying to make some "comment" on society (another word I don't like). I found it just stupid.

Don't waste your time. If you want and "edgy" movie with real dark, dark humor...go Happiness.
You'll be glad you did.

Marie Antoinette

" I have enough diamonds."

5 Stars

Simply breathtaking. So far these reviews have been easy to write. They just flow.
But with this movie my thoughts run wild and I'm having a hard time figuring out where to start.
So this one may be a little sporadic.

First thing you hear is the music. Gang of Four, New Order, Air, Aphex Twin, and Bow Wow Wow.
The most impressive to me were the use of The Cure, and Siouxsie and The Banshees.
A ballroom scene where everyone is dancing, and drinking like only the 18th centurions could do is accompanied with Siouxsie's "Hong Kong Garden". And it strangely fits! Maybe because my generation grew up on 80's music videos where powdered wigs were paired with keyboards, and new wave make-up.
One song in particular that was too much for me was The Cure's "Plainsong". My best friend and I have had a long relationship with The Cure in our young teenage years, and this song even now I felt is the most romantic song I've ever heard. I kid you not, when I heard those chimes that sound as familiar as my own name play, while watching the prince be crowned king, and seeing Antoinette painted like a picture, my heart hurt. I had pain! Too beautiful for my body to handle.

The clothes. Detail, detail, detail. Over the top. A touch of edge to them, but not enough that it takes you out of the period. I am overjoyed that it won this years Oscar for costume design.
The details were also in the food! I saw on the "Behind the Scenes" footage, that Sofia hired a Food Historian for the film. The cookies, the fruit, the meat and vegetables were made not only to nourish, but also to entertain. Everything was so over the top, and wild. As her and her friends run a pool to watch the sunset, I just think to myself "Who's to say it wasn't like that?".

My Mother put it best. She said by watching this movie, she could tell Sofia was making it for herself.
"This is how she sees it." As if she doesn't care if we get it or not, it's for her. I picture a 13 year old Sofia listening to her Walkman, in her big Coppola house, getting lost in her own halls of Versailles. I get it.

Lets see,,,music, clothes, 13 year old girl...Oh yeah, the story!

It seems we all know something about Marie Antoinette. Top of the list is that she got her head chopped off. Which is not in the movie. Some folks had a problem with this, but I don't feel that was the point of the movie. This is about a 15 year old girl. Fifteen! She now has to be prepped to be a Queen and hurry to make babies with an impotent husband who is as young as she is. The pressure this young girl has on her is terrible. Say what you will, women have come a long way.

Soffia did such a great job conveying Marie's daily life. To show the monotony of her day, I love how the same regal song accompanies her day in day out luxurious rituals.

Fun Fact : When people were sent to the guillotine they were silent and "brave". Not Marie. Now remember hangings were an event, especially hers. The guillotine was almost like a sport and was very popular. Because of Marie's kicking, screaming, and pleading the public changed their mind about the guillotine. Hers was one of the last. She made it too human.

As did Coppola with this film, surreal as it was. I was very sympathetic toward Antoinette. She was just trying her best. To be a good wife, mother, and tried to keep her sanity in such a regimented and formal gilded prison.

Smokin' Aces

"Bones it. Then ya pad lock it.
Then you put the chain on.
That's a new one, I'm workin' on it."

4 Stars

I haven't seen a new "cool" movie like this a while. It was so much fun! About 20 minutes in, I got so mad at movie critics. I've only read and heard bad things about this movie, and saw that it granted only 2 stars in other forums. Man, what do these people want? This movie's got it all. Name it!
Yes. That's in there too.

A mafia boss orders a hit on a Vegas entertainer Buddy "Aces" Israel (Jeremy Piven). As the word hits the street the best of the best hit men and crews race to kill Israel to cash in the one million dollar pay off.
Situations get intense as these hit men dodge the FBI and each other.
At times it felt very reminiscent of True Romance. So many circumstances around one score.

So many names in this movie! It was really great to see Ben Affleck back to work as a character. I want to see him do more of this stuff instead of action movies and romantic comedies. Alicia Keys surprisingly has a major role as an assassin, and does a great job too! Andy Garcia plays the same character in every movie. A powerful man in a three piece suit who seems to know something you don't. But he's so good at it. Something I did not expect was an impressive performance by Ryan Reynolds who really held his own against Ray Liotta. The boy can do drama!

Some more names: Jason Bateman, Common, Wayne Newton, "Booger" (He will always be Booger.), and a disguised appearance by Lost's Matthew Fox, plus you may find yourself thinking "Hey, isn't that that one guy?" throughout this movie.

Now don't be fooled by the quick shots, and stylized film making. This movie has some moving scenes, and great performances! Piven's performance made me ache for Israel. He must have been emotionally drained after shooting some of those scenes. I don't think Piven has had his moment to shine yet, but it's coming. A true talent indeed.

This film is full of quality characters, great graphic design, and a good soundtrack to boot! If you enjoy a good ride of a movie, please go on this one.

Domino : Early Spring Pick

"Did you just say 'Backtino'?"
4 Star
Early Spring Pick

I am proud to present my first seasonal movie pick! Every season I have a handful of movies that I have on heavy rotation. For this time of year one of them is Domino. There in the Bay Area we're getting a little drizzle, but some great sunny days in between that let us know spring is on it's way. Along with tanning, buying new shoes, and planning trips to Vegas, I need to kick start my "I'm cool" frame of mind.
Domino is the best first step for me. Deep into spring I get into Tarrentino. Stay tuned.

Domino is based on the life and times of Domino Harvey a model turned bounty hunter. Played by Keira Knightley, the real Domino Harvey was on set throughout the movie and is shown at the very end. Sadly she passed away before the movie was released. I highly recommend the featurette on this DVD. There are some great interviews with Domino, and the real Choco who looks nothing like the hot guy in the movie played by Edgar Ramirez.

Directed by Tony Scott who has pioneered the "acid-like" film style, makes the cool factor of this movie that much higher. Saturated color, layered film, and text on screen that impact the dialogue are just a few details that I love.

My girl Mo'Nique has a part in this. When some punk kid calls her a bitch to her face, I started waving my hands in the air, "Oh hell naw!". If you've ever heard her stand up routine you would know that Mo'Nique don't play.
Mickey Rourke also holds a lead role, and his salty voice and leathered face make for a perfect character.
Lucy Liu, Jacqueline Bisset, Mena Suvari, Macy Grey, and Tom Waits are in this movie as well.
Good times. The soundtrack is not too bad as well.

What says springtime more than guns, dismemberment, cholos, Vegas, mescaline, and Christopher Walken?

Music and Lyrics

"That song was dinner!"

2 Stars

Music and Lyrics would have made a better MTV or VH1 TV movie, or on DVD. It's a great movie if your sick in bed, or just need something running in the background. Since I was in an actual movie theater I felt this movie was very rushed and put together with scotch tape. I can just imagine a couple of Hollywood executives..."Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant. They would be perfect in a romantic comedy! Make it happen."

A "has been" pop star from the 80's (Hugh) is looking for a comeback. He gets the opportunity to write a song for the newest teenage pop star, and searches for a lyricist. The lyricist the record label provides is bad, and the lady that waters his plants (Drew) shows a little talent for rhyming and we're off!

When asked to take the job of writing for him she says no, and he chases her all over NY. Now this whole "cat and mouse" thing was cute for a second, but it was really dragged out. He goes to her work, she says no. He invites her to a performance to ask her again, she says no. He takes her to a piano shop and sings to her, she says no. Honestly, I can't remember when she said yes but I guess she did. Because I was in the theater for another hour watching these two rhyme "head" with "bed", and literally watching the sun go down, and come up.

I'm giving this movie 2 Stars. One Star just for being a movie, and the second Star is for Kristen Johnston.
She plays Drew's older sister, and she was great! She has always had perfect comic timing, and is not afraid to look silly. Also she really looks like the white counter part to Monique. Dead ringer, check it out.
Come back Kristen we miss you!

The only way this could qualify for being a date movie, is if you have a good date watching it with you, like I did. I found the best laughs I had through this movie were from my best friend sitting next to me as we goofed on the it. Thanx Mimi.

Pan's Labyrinth

"You're not the first pig I've gutted."

5 Stars

At the end of this movie a single word was running over and over in my head. Beyond.
That's what this movie is. Beyond [place adjective here].

The story looks to be set in the 1940s, and introduces us to a young girl (Ofelia) traveling with her mother to live with her new husband, a Colonel of the Spanish Army that is very Fuhreresque. His duty is to create a "clean Spain". Yikes! And come to think of it, Ofelia looks very Anne Frank.

Since Ofelia is a fan of fairy tale books, she is easily able to spot fairies and other creatures in the forest that surrounds the compound that she now lives on. In the midst of these trees is an old labyrinth that she is lured into by her fairy friend and finds a new meaning to her life.

I absolutely hate giving away too much of a story for others. To reveal more of this plot may hinder you from really losing yourself in it. I can say a few things though.

This movie has got hands down the best foley (or sound effects) I've heard! Every singe of a cigarette, stretch of leather, creaking of wood, tearing of flesh, rain, or breathe is so clear and graphic! At one point when I was really aware of this fact a scene came that involved an amputation. I was quietly chanting "Spare us, spare us, spare us.." even though I totally wanted to hear and see it!
I also can't say enough about the cinematography! Perfect, and breathtaking. Some of the best shots of food are in this movie. Luscious fruits and produce, and roasts you could smell.
Prosthetics and visual effects are equally brilliant.

There are a lot of those "holy shit" moments in this film. A great frog that lives in a tree, a baby eating monster that I was just hypnotized by, and the graphic details of the amputation are a treat comp aired to other scenes. Loves it!!

This movie is in Spanish, such a beautiful language (I love the lisp). Director Guillermo de Toro has had experienc in American film with Hellboy, and Blade 2, but I'm glad he chose Spanish. It made me feel like this story was from a forgotten book on a large bookshelf. Only found on the very top shelf all the way in the corner covered with dust and magic.

A Good Woman

"Women don't trust women. Men don't trust women. Nobody trusts women.
It's what bind the Hindu and the Catholics."

3 Stars

On the bright side, this is a great chick flick or date movie. After I came to that conclusion I was able to enjoy it better. On the dimmer side I feel this movie was miscast.

Set in 1930 this story follows a well known gold digging mistress (played by Helen Hunt) from New York, where she's run out of married men to suck dry, to Italy where she plans to start all over. Her new prey is the husband to Mrs. Windermere played by Scarlett Johansson. The gossip circles spin wildly, and everyone know about Mr. Windermere's dalliances but his wife.

Scarlett is gorgeous in this 30s setting, but I just wasn't buying her naivety or that she is "in" this period.
As for Helen Hunt, I don't think breast enhancements were too popular in 1930. Fashion history tells the stories of women smashing those things down. The reason why this is such and eye sore is because the rest of the movie looks so accurate! The shots of Italy are beautiful, and the costumes are great, but those breasts just bring you back to 2007.

I did find it difficult to find a good quote. There were far too many great ones! Then when the movie ended the first credit read, Based on the play A Good Woman by Oscar Wilde. Enough said.

A question. What makes men spend so much money on "the other woman"? It's got to be shut up money right? But everyone finds out anyway, so save the money!

Artie Lange's Beer League

"I've lined up some primo whooas for the event."

2 Stars

Now, it's not the best movie ever. But being the devoted Howard Stern fan that I am, it was my duty to support my Artie and watch the movie. I almost feel like I'm a part of it! I've been hearing about this movie for years on the show. From Artie's excitement that he got some money to make it, to the antics that happened on the set from day to day,
and the topper was the movie's premiere which aired live on Sirius.

The jokes are cheap. The film is cheap. And Artie's spray on hair is cheap.

What was really fun though was watching Artie so thin! Which on the show is now called "Beer League Artie". He has since ballooned to 296! In the special features on disc 2 you can see his weight gain, and the piles of Devil Dogs that seem to be everywhere he turns.

Fun Fact : Artie revealed the shocking news last year that he was on heroin during the production of
Beer League. He claims he was never high while actually filming. So I was watching for that.

This movie is truly for the fans. It was great to see the cameos. Tina Fey, Joey G, Jim Florentine,
Jim Brewer, Nick Dipaolo, and I hear that Artie's then girlfriend Dana was in it too, but I couldn't find her.
The Jersey accents are thick and that could probably be the funniest part of this movie.

I love Artie, and the show, so I was just happy to see that it was finished. Also his fans are buying it and raising it's sales. Good job Artie, but I'd rather buy Dirty Work.

Audition

"Words create lies.
Pain can be trusted."

4 STARS

Takashi Miike is one of my favorite directors. If I hear his name connected with something, I get antsy to see it. He's done some great work. The super cool Ichi the Killer, an unforgettable short in Three Extremes, and the off the hook movie Visitor Q. Which by the way is not a movie for the squeamish. A trait that I love about Miike. I usually don't go for gore and such but the spooky, quiet, and surreal way he presents it....chills. I like to think of him as a Japanese David Lynch.

The DVD menu on Audition alone is scary. I had to start the movie real quick so I could get passed the menu.

A father of a young son looses his wife to an illness and years later his son thinks it's time for his father to remarry. Nervous about dating, his friend who is in a casting business, suggests that they hold an audition for a fake movie to find him a new wife. Of course it works, and for a while this movie is a cute romantic comedy of sorts. I started to think, "Maybe this is a new type of movie for Miike.", but I keep seeing the poster image and know that somethings going to change.

As this story unfolds I was telling him, "Just go home, dude." But they never listen.
At times I was holding my breath, and I even had to cover my eyes! At the same time peeking through my fingers. Why is that? During the out of control dream sequence, I thought that Hostel should have taken some notes from this movie. Then I remembered that Takashi Miike had a cameo in Hostel!
I guess he tried to help as much as he could. If you see Hostel, he an older Asian man with bleached hair.
I think he even has a line. Fun!

I'm slowly working down the list of Miike's work and every time it is a true experience. You really have to be prepared to watch a Miike movie. It's not easy. I guarantee you will be shocked.
You will say "I can't believe I'm watching this." I do. Then I can't wait to watch the next one.

The Weight of Water

"Women's motives are always
more concealed than men's."

3 STARS

Very Swimming Pool. If you've ever seen that movie, this is like the American version.

Starring Sean Penn, Elizabeth Hurley, Josh Lucas, and Catherine McCormack. Yet the best performance was by supporting actress Sarah Polley.

Two couples aboard a small yacht in New Hampshire mixing business with pleasure. McCormack's character is a writer/photographer (Much like the lead in Swimming Pool, now that I think of it.) who's doing a piece on the murder of two sisters on a small island off of NH in 1873. The rest are along for the ride, and early on McCormack gets very annoying with her ramblings of the murder while the others are just trying to have a good time. I found myself saying out load to her, "Geeze, shut up." A real party pooper.

The film went from passed (1873) to present, and I enjoyed the 1873 movie better. Sarah Polly played the lead in the 1873 story, and did a great job at conveying the character's stone depression and possible madness. Great job by her. Penn plays a poet, and his quips were really annoying to me as well. But he's hot, so that adds one full star already. Hurley just posed through the whole movie. In a bikini or less, tossing her hair in the wind, "Oh please.".

These movies, Swimming Pool and The Weight of Water, have a similar formula. A murder of passion + intense shots of eye contact (She looks at him. Then he looks at her. Then she looks away.) + a couple of explicit sex scenes with high tension strings soundtrack (Because then it's "tasteful".) + a lukewarm climax of action = Official Selection of the Cannes Film Festival.

Tava

I once met a guy in a hot tub. A rather big man, with a beard, and oxygen tank in tow. After a pleasant greeting, "Hi","Hello." He came at me with the question, "Tell me your favorite movie line."
And I was stunned! ME, who quotes movies all day long with or without an audience, had no answer!
This hefty man on the other hand was lettin' 'em rip! I soon warmed up and started in as well. With little hesitation he knew exactly what film I was talking about, and had a great rebuttal to that line with another line from a different picture. I don't think we ever got around to each others names, but I knew all I needed to know about him.

I love movies. By any name, films, motion pictures, talkies (for you old folks), flicks I love 'em!
Second to movies is talking about movies. Like any art piece, movies are up for interpretation by anyone who sees them. I enjoy the fact that two people can walk out of the same movie, and have two completely different thoughts about what they just saw.

This blog (I really don't like that word, but what are you gonna do?) is to simply share what I saw.
I see lots of movies. On a good day I can knock out 4, but usually it's 2. I have a very active Netflix account, and have made a personal goal to get the actual theater once a week. I also have shelves full of movies that I watch through out the year. I have movies categorized by season, so from time to time I'll recommend one of my seasonal favorites. My rating system is the quintessential 5 stars. It's simple, but I'm used to it. So for anyone looking for "5 hats", or "4 kittens" I apologize.

While I am reviewing movies, I want you to know that I in no way feel that my opinion is the end all be all.
No one has any real authority on art. I would just like to share what I saw. Comments are welcome, as are movie recommendations. I just love to talk about movies! At the top of each of my reviews will be a quote from the movie. In case you have a movie dialogue duel with a large man in a hot tub. Tell him I said hi will ya?

Shhh...The movie's starting...
tav.