Strange Wilderness

"You're shitting me!
You know Bigfoot's name?"

1 Star

You can tell this movie was made just to pay the bills, without working too hard to do it.
Might be pretty funny if you were 10, and had no cable and someone left it at your house.

This ragtag group of guys produce a nature show that airs at 3 in the morning. With the threat of being canceled they need something big to save their show. With a tip from an old friend they decide to hunt Bigfoot. The plot is simple enough, so there's plenty of room for cheap cheap cheap 99cent bits. Including pot jokes, dick jokes, drug jokes, and other jokes that are painfully obvious!! (Hey check it out, I smoked a shit load of weed and nitrous, and I drew a dick on the bus!) Yawn....
They really tried to push the bit that they run a nature show, but swear throughout it on the voice overs.
"This bear is the largest fuckin animal in the forest. He eats a shitload of salmon a day..."
They really beat you over the head with that one, geesh!

The two actors who actually have great comedic talent were totally butchered!
Jonha Hill (Superbad) could have easily held this movie on his own, but instead he had a third tier roll with an accent (?) that I couldn't even discern where they wanted him to be from. Made no sense. Then, there's Peter Dante (part of the Sandler troupe) who can make anything he says funny, and they kill him off in the first 15 minutes!!!
Wow. They just really wanted this movie to fail.
I'm all about the sick humor! Dick jokes? Love 'em! Stoners? Ya! F-bombs? I'm in!
But there is some sort of style, and talent that can make these elements hilarious...
this movie ditched class that day.

Sin Destino : Haiku Movie Review

"Fucking airplanes!"

Student film, maybe?

Drugs, bad sex, no rock and roll

Complete waste of time

Flyboys

"He's just in shock."

1 Star

Are you kidding?!! This was like a parody of a movie. I turned it off somewhere in the middle, I totally didn't care about this movie. And that's a bummer cause I heard so many great reviews from people I know, and trust!

I think this was supposed to be a true story 'er something. Well I would be hecka pissed if I were one of those dudes.
Some country boy wants to fly planes as a way to getting out of jail time. Turns out the rebel is a natural when it comes to flying. Yawn...
So the other pilots who have put in their time hassle him, and they shut up once they see his skills. Ok...
So stupid, I can't get over it.

The victorious musical score was way premature. Playing while he's training as if by shooting at a bale of hay, he's winning the war. The special effects were very disappointing too. I remember seeing the previews and being impressed with 'em, but I guess they're only impressive when you see them for a split second.

Also, the upper class man know-it-all is so annoying. I counted 3 scenes of him doing the cheesiest comebacks!! Each one went something like this.
Crowed place, kid says, "This plane tried to shoot me!"
Voice from the back of the room, "Did it have 2 swords on it?"
The crowd parts, he's sitting at the back of the room, he stands up like he's some bad ass, and starts to tell some story which is supposed to make him look like more of a bad ass as he starts to tell his tale.
3 times that shtick happened, and I only watched half of it.

Positives?
This might have been a better movie had I been sick and hopped up on NyQuil. The kind where you don't really care what's on the TV as long as you can hear the hum.
And the boots were incredible.

Poor James Franco.

The Pusher

"......"

1 Star

I didn't even get 10 minutes into this film therefore I have no real quote. I read about this trilogy in NYLON magazine, and it sounded awesome. Now that I think of it, I think they were reviewing the last one which was released 2006 subtitled I'm The Angel of Death. So I decided to start from the beginning. Mistake...
I think.

Danish writer-director Nicolas Winding Refen achieved cult status with his feature film debut, the tale of a small-scale pusher named Frank who blows a big-time heroin deal and gets in trouble with a powerful drug lord. As the week drags on, Frank scrambles to pay back the money he lost, but attempts to raise serious cash take him into dangerous territory.

Drugs, violence, and that cool looking guy with the glass eye from the last 007 film Casino Royale sounds like fun! But I had a hard time. I have since read a couple of independent reviews and most really liked it.
Some were luke warm, but most liked it. I don't know.

If anyone else has seen it, and feel it gets better after the first 10 minutes let me know.
I've already returned it, but I might try it again. The next 2 movies sound great!
I'm not completely sold with my own opinion, so you may see this film re-reviewed.


Plot summary courtesy of Netflix

The Good Shephard

"Tell me you love me."

1 Star

This movie sucked. In my opinion. It wasn't on my list of movies to begin with. I don't care for government or political subjects too much.
For me it was really hard to follow. I can't even give you a good summary of the plot. I just couldn't follow it. I was asking my boyfriend what was going on throughout the film, and even he had to say, "I don't know. Just watch it."

An upstanding, sharp-minded Yale student, Edward Willson (Matt Damon) is recruited to work for the fledgling CIA during World War II. Though loyal to his country, Wilson begins to feel the job eroding his ideals, filling him with distrust and destroying his personal life.

I was pleased to see Bobby D. direct, and he did a good job. Angelina Jolie is in this too with her rat hands. Sorry. And so was John Turturro. He's such a good actor, I don't blame him for doing this film.
He got to work with Bobby D. for cryin' out loud. Yeah.

The DeNiro factor is the only thing that this movie's got. It was utterly forgettable. The only reason I remembered this quote is because it's context was so dumb. My boyfriend and I have been saying it to each other since the watching it, and it makes us laugh every time.

The Burial Society

"It was like a church. Only, for money.
It's where bad money came to be redeemed."

1 Star

To tell you the truth I didn't even finish this movie. It was so slow!

It takes so long to reveal the plot, and as a viewer I wasn't really sure what was the truth or fiction. I'm sure the director wanted it to be that way. He tried hard to mimic Memento.

A dark thriller about Sheldon Kasner, an unassuming bank employee at Hebrew National Bank, where no one seems to see how deserving he is of bigger things. So, he attempts to prove his worth by plunging neck-deep into the criminal world of money laundering. Unfortunately, the goons he's consorting with are playing for keeps, so he fakes his own death with the help of The Burial Society.

I got up the part where he's about to really pull it all off. The money, and the death. But I just didn't care about this character enough to keep wasting my time watching it. The music in the movie tries to build some sort of tension, but those feeling should come from the writing, not the score.

Booooo.

Plot summary courtesy of Netflix

Storytelling

"You had a bad time? Well too bad!"

1 Star

Along the same line as Happiness, but with one large difference...Happiness was good! Yuck, I hated this movie. Because I rated Happiness so high on Netflix they recommended this one to me over and over and I finally gave in. I knew I was ignoring it for a reason.

The beginning Selma Blair story was just pure shock, and literally made me queasy with disgust. No wonder why The Howard Stern Show plays this sound byte from time to time. Really offencive.

The begging credits showed Bell and Sebastian as the main music direction. That should have tipped me off that this movie was going to stink.

The second story starring Paul Giamatti is so tedious, and you can tell the film is trying to make some "comment" on society (another word I don't like). I found it just stupid.

Don't waste your time. If you want and "edgy" movie with real dark, dark humor...go Happiness.
You'll be glad you did.