Invincible

"When I told you not to get your hopes up...
didn't mean that I wasn't."

2.5 Stars

I'm such a sucker for these redemption type movies. At least that's what Amazon has said. It just warms me!

This was the true story about a bartender who's lost his other job as a substitute teacher, and then his wife leaves him. Living in Philly in the mid 70's, everyone's loosing their jobs, and struggling to make ends meet. So like men, they turn to football for escape and inspiration.
Unfortunately their Philly Eagles aren't winning, and now they all feel like bigger losers. Until....

The Eagles have open try outs, and guess who makes it?
The rest, actually the whole movie is pretty predictable, but I knew that going in. It was perfect for today's weather, and with these times being as hard as theirs, it was nice to have some Disney inspiration.
They sure know how to dish that shit out.
Thanx Walt!

First Sunday

"I'm 'onna beat you till candy come out!"

2.5 Stars

I love Kat Williams and will watch anything just to see him for a second cause I know he's gonna kill.
Though he's predominant in the promos, his role is fairly small. Too bad.
But I was pleased to see Tracy Morgan too. That fool CRACKS ME UP! He can just look at someone, and I'm dyin'.

The story doesn't really matter, it's cheap.
Ice Cube and Tracy need money and decide to rob their local
church, which has been raising money for upgrades.
I'm sure you can guess the rest.
They befriend the church goers they get the money legit, and are acquitted on all charges.

I wouldn't recommend First Sunday to people, unless I know that THEY know what kind of movie it is.
A cheap black comedy with my man Kat.
I'll tell you one thing though,
it ain't no Soul Plane.

Pumpkinhead : Haiku Movie Review

"I'm gonna send it back to

whatever the HELL it came from!"


2.5 Stars


When it's called upon

The devil's justice will reign

Cheesy, O.G. horror

Beowulf & Grendel

"Luck can be a whore too."

2 Stars

Who knows where I picked this one up. I am weak when there is the possibility of watching a filthy, filthy medieval movie. You know the kind that you have to take a shower afterwards, cause you feel like your covered in muck. BG smelled a bit too fresh though.

Based on the legendary poem of Beowulf, which for some reason everyone else read in school but me. That's the Hayward public school system for ya. Beowulf, played by 300's Gerard Butler, is summoned across the seas (which he swims alone) to conquer the evil troll Grendel.
And ahhh...that's pretty much it.

This was more like a TV movie than a feature. Some scenes end and it's just begging for a Pepsi commercial.

Personally I get really picky about authenticity in period pieces. Some parts of this movie felt really gritty which I loved, then you see a lady who's got perfect make up on, and you start to noticed they all have great teeth. I talk a lot to while watching movies, and just as I did in Gladiator I asked, "Where the hell did they get eyeshadow, and mascara in the middle ages?!" Such a pet peeve of mine.

Throughout the movie there is this "Sea Hag" that shows up faintly in the water. I found this character more interesting than the troll. The movie elaborates a bit more on her later in the film, but having never read the tale, I don't know if she really is of any significance.

This movie did however give me he hankering to see Eric The Viking again.
A least that's one funny on purpose.

Te doy mis Ojos / Take My Eyes

"If she doesn't answer her phone,
what do you think that means?"

2.5 Stars

Domestic abuse. Let's talk about it.
This film is pretty cut and dry. Wife leaves abusive husband, saying it's over. Husband says I'll change, she's back, and "it's" back, and then she really leaves him for good, the end.

But this movie did have one element that I haven't seen yet. It spent a lot of time showing the audience the husband's side. He attends a therapy group of abusive husbands to show he's "changed", and the issues that him and the other men express are very touching in an odd way.
It goes beyond "I just wanted my dinner on the table at 6:00 not 6:02."
These men are just consumed by fear. The dialogue within the group sounded as if it had been witnessed first hand by the writer.
In the film the husband keeps a journal of his actions, and responses as an excercise for his group. In it he describes what happens to his body as he starts to enrage, and the thoughts that race through his mind as well. It sounds much like a panic attack.
Numb limbs, along with overwhelming, almost blinding fear.
I really respected that angle.

On the other hand, the rest of the movie was just too predictable. Look, I'm not one who enjoys to see women get beat. Yet, this film didn't portray the pain of his wife to me.
I felt good with her final decision, but not fully relieved as if I had seen enough, and really wanted her out of there.
Does that make any sense?

If anything I hope it made sense to at least one man who may have seen it, and realized that he can help.
I never looked at it that way.