The Hangover

"-'I always wondered why they were called roofies.  

Cause you're more likely to end up on the floor than on the roof.  They should call em floories.'

-'Or rapies.'"

This was by far the funniest movie I've seen this year!  There may have been some predictable bits, but it all worked and still was able to be refreshing without having to be a Judd Apatow movie.  

No doubt Zach Galifianakis stole this movie. 

I've enjoyed his brand of comedy, stand up and tv work, for a couple years.  Especially his reoccurring appearances on my FAVORITE show Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!.  He has been in a number of movies, but never really aloud to shine like he did in this one.

I've seen a number of these blackout movies.  Dude Where's My Car, What Happens in Vegas, and I was really thinking this movie was going to be another Very Bad Things.  Though the concept is not original, the writing and the delivery is what makes this an instant modern classic.  

One thing after a-fuckin-nother is unveiled about the cah-ray-zee bachelor party that happened the night before.  Their main goal is to find their friend, the groom, who is missing the following morning, and is getting married tomorrow.  

You know it was a crazy night in Vegas when you wake up in your hotel room missing a tooth, there's a tiger in the bathroom, and you find a baby in the closet.  It's great!

This movie is satisfying on all levels.  

Including the BIGGEST payoff of seeing the lost photos of their night during the  end credits.  As if I haven't laughed enough!  I was laughing so hard, it felt like my older brother was tickling me waaaaay passed the point of saying 

"I'm serious! Stop!"  It was hard to breathe through the laughter.  Great movie.  And it's going to be an even better DVD to watch and quote over and over again.  I can't wait to see it again.  I just wish I can see it again for the first time.

Strange Wilderness

"You're shitting me!
You know Bigfoot's name?"

1 Star

You can tell this movie was made just to pay the bills, without working too hard to do it.
Might be pretty funny if you were 10, and had no cable and someone left it at your house.

This ragtag group of guys produce a nature show that airs at 3 in the morning. With the threat of being canceled they need something big to save their show. With a tip from an old friend they decide to hunt Bigfoot. The plot is simple enough, so there's plenty of room for cheap cheap cheap 99cent bits. Including pot jokes, dick jokes, drug jokes, and other jokes that are painfully obvious!! (Hey check it out, I smoked a shit load of weed and nitrous, and I drew a dick on the bus!) Yawn....
They really tried to push the bit that they run a nature show, but swear throughout it on the voice overs.
"This bear is the largest fuckin animal in the forest. He eats a shitload of salmon a day..."
They really beat you over the head with that one, geesh!

The two actors who actually have great comedic talent were totally butchered!
Jonha Hill (Superbad) could have easily held this movie on his own, but instead he had a third tier roll with an accent (?) that I couldn't even discern where they wanted him to be from. Made no sense. Then, there's Peter Dante (part of the Sandler troupe) who can make anything he says funny, and they kill him off in the first 15 minutes!!!
Wow. They just really wanted this movie to fail.
I'm all about the sick humor! Dick jokes? Love 'em! Stoners? Ya! F-bombs? I'm in!
But there is some sort of style, and talent that can make these elements hilarious...
this movie ditched class that day.

Fellon

"We're all in prison."

3.5 Stars

Well, first of all... prison is no place TO BE!!

My mom had this movie and it didn't look too bad.  She knows I like prison movies so I was in.

Interesting premiss.  Porter (Stephen Dorff) is a hard working new father, and starting his own construction business. A burglar enters the house and after making sure his family is in one spot he grabs his baseball bat and searches the house.  The robber bolts and as he's running out Porter throws a fatal and the bad guy is dead on his lawn.

Now here's the most discussed part of this movie for us.  Because he was killed outside of the house, Porter is now placed under arrest and charged with murder.  Apparently this is knowledge my Grandfather knew already.  

"Drag 'em into the house." he said, according to my mom.  Leave it to Grandpa to know the loop holes.

Porter's prison experience quickly turns for the worst and he is soon placed in a max security prison, "The Shoe".  It all happens so fast and you can't help but feel so bad for this guy who was only protecting his family.  

The prison has a sort of "fight club" that the guards bet on and enjoy watching.  Porter learns to hold his own, and survive.  

Val Kilmer, who can easily be mistaken for Jeff Bridges in this, is his cellmate.  He's got his own story, and I appreciate that their relationship wasn't so predictable.

The women in this movie were very miscast. I'm confident that's what cheapened this movie.

There was a poor man's Mary Steenburgen as his mother-in-law, and the wife was very unsympathetic.

But there were about... two "oh shit!" moments and that's a good thing.

Lessons learned?  

• Don't go to jail.
• Drag 'em into the house!
• And pay up, and get Mary Steenburgen.

Invincible

"When I told you not to get your hopes up...
didn't mean that I wasn't."

2.5 Stars

I'm such a sucker for these redemption type movies. At least that's what Amazon has said. It just warms me!

This was the true story about a bartender who's lost his other job as a substitute teacher, and then his wife leaves him. Living in Philly in the mid 70's, everyone's loosing their jobs, and struggling to make ends meet. So like men, they turn to football for escape and inspiration.
Unfortunately their Philly Eagles aren't winning, and now they all feel like bigger losers. Until....

The Eagles have open try outs, and guess who makes it?
The rest, actually the whole movie is pretty predictable, but I knew that going in. It was perfect for today's weather, and with these times being as hard as theirs, it was nice to have some Disney inspiration.
They sure know how to dish that shit out.
Thanx Walt!

La Vie En Rose : Haiku Movie Review

"You're astounding!'
"I'm wearing heels!"

4.5 Stars


A bruised childhood

And demons she'd fight forever

She still sings to all

First Snow

"Don't snow the snowman."

2 Stars

This was a waste of time dude.
This salesman ( Guy Pierce), busts his car in the middle of nowhere, and decides to kill time by visiting a fortune teller.
Seen it!
He later tells him he's gonna die come the first snow.
So he figures some old friend of his is out to kill him because of a money laundering scheme gone wrong.
So now we spend the majority of the movie watching this this guy become totally paranoid that he's going to be murdered, and chasing this fortune teller around for answers. I understand the film was supposed to be building tension, but it just didn't read. It also seems that Pierce is getting pigeonholed in this character since his role in Memento. Too bad.

Finally we get to a climax of cash, and guns, and a loony, and you think "Alright we're gettin somewhere!"
But it ended up to be anti-climactic. After all the crap they put us through, homie gets hit by a car on the first snow...?!

I was so happy to just be done with it.

Sin Destino : Haiku Movie Review

"Fucking airplanes!"

Student film, maybe?

Drugs, bad sex, no rock and roll

Complete waste of time