Beowulf & Grendel

"Luck can be a whore too."

2 Stars

Who knows where I picked this one up. I am weak when there is the possibility of watching a filthy, filthy medieval movie. You know the kind that you have to take a shower afterwards, cause you feel like your covered in muck. BG smelled a bit too fresh though.

Based on the legendary poem of Beowulf, which for some reason everyone else read in school but me. That's the Hayward public school system for ya. Beowulf, played by 300's Gerard Butler, is summoned across the seas (which he swims alone) to conquer the evil troll Grendel.
And ahhh...that's pretty much it.

This was more like a TV movie than a feature. Some scenes end and it's just begging for a Pepsi commercial.

Personally I get really picky about authenticity in period pieces. Some parts of this movie felt really gritty which I loved, then you see a lady who's got perfect make up on, and you start to noticed they all have great teeth. I talk a lot to while watching movies, and just as I did in Gladiator I asked, "Where the hell did they get eyeshadow, and mascara in the middle ages?!" Such a pet peeve of mine.

Throughout the movie there is this "Sea Hag" that shows up faintly in the water. I found this character more interesting than the troll. The movie elaborates a bit more on her later in the film, but having never read the tale, I don't know if she really is of any significance.

This movie did however give me he hankering to see Eric The Viking again.
A least that's one funny on purpose.

Elizabeth : The Golden Age

"I have a hurricane in side me that will strip Spain bare if you dare try me!!"

3 Stars

I really really wanted this to be as great as the first, and it seemed hopeful considering the collaborations were the same. But there was something missing. Since I can't put my finger on it, I personally think there was something, or someone impassioned about the project and that came through. Ya know, bad vibes kinda thing. If there is love in the work, it totally comes through. Not too much love here.

I do on the other hand have nothing but praise for every element of the movie! For me it was so hard to concentrate on the movie because the costumes are breathtaking! Craftsmanship on top of craftsmanship. The details, without even knowing it, felt thoroughly researched. The hair, the jewelry, the corsetry, and the distinction of countries among the men's dress. Awesome.

The acting was great! Though one thing...the guy who plays Don Guerau De Spes (William Houston) has the biggest lips coming out of that beard. He looked like a talking monkey, and that was very distracting considering most his dialogue has some merit to the plot. I was too involved with his lips!
Cate Blanchett is a timeless actor. She brings it to everything she does, and when I see her name I know I'm in good hands.
Clive Owen. Aww hell. (See Children of Men review, and you'll know what I'm talking about.) As pretty as he is, I think he may have been miscast. Kills me to say that.
Samantha Morton appears as Queen Mary Stuart, and I got really excited. Of course she's in this because she's perfect for this role. I've never cared for her role choices too much
(I felt Hattie in Sweet and Low Down was her best), but I feel she's a great talent.
She will get an Oscar some day.

In the first Elizabeth we witness her reluctant, then stoic journey to the thrown of England. Now we get to see her in action as she protects her country from Spain, and their holy war. One question I keep rolling over, is what happened to these epic women? Like Hatshepsut, the great Pharaoh of Egypt? Or Semiramis the Assyrian Queen? What made them (in those ignorant times) gain the respect and power that has always been reserved for the male? They must have been made of pure strength, and energy to carry so much.

On top of all this lies one true, true fact. Elizabeth is a woman. It can't be denied.
For me the movie was about this tender balance of our female nature, and that of extreme power.
In the movie there is this love...thing. I don't want to cheapen it by calling it a triangle, but lets use that for now. She really likes Raleigh, he likes her, her maid likes him they like each other, you get it.
This is how our (women's) minds work. Give us stress, give us a situation, and we will handle it. But, if there is some sort of nagging thing, for example this interest she has for Raleigh, it can be just as consuming as the original situation. So it's double the stress and pressure.
Liz wants to be "The Queen", yet she wants so badly to be a woman. Similar yes, to the first film, but now she certain of where her duty lies, and it hurts. I get it.

After the film a quote from another movie summed up the matter of Liz for me.

"The men who resent my success won't give me the time of day, and the men who respect my success won't give me the time of night."
- Down with Love

The Great Happiness Space

"To girls we are products."

5 Stars

This documentary is like nothing I have ever witnessed. I guarantee no one else has seen this movie and it's contents will make for the best conversation starter.

This compelling film explores the rarely seen world of Japanese host boys, men who are paid to entertain wealthy women in exclusive nightclubs. Almost but not quite gigolos, more akin to male geishas, the host boys of Cafe Rakkyo share their secrets in
Jake Clennell's first documentary.

Purely fascinating. I watched it twice and may have to immerse myself in it one more time.
This boy host thing is a real part of Japanese culture, people just don't talk about it much. Young, well dressed (and tressed) men pick up girls on the streets with lines like "You look like my grade school teacher. You don't understand, I loved my grade school teacher." It looks so strange to see men street hustling for women. Once they lure these girls into the club to have a drink with them, the girl can choose from a photo menu of men as if ordering something from KFC.

And these men aren't cheap. The interviews with some of their female clients reveal that they can have spent $1,000 up to $7,000 in one night! The hosts themselves can make a salary of $10-50,000 a month.
Majority of that money is spent on champagne. These guys (and girls) down the stuff like frat kids!
Issei (above) is heavily profiled in the film and rightly so, he is Osaka's number one host boy. He says about the heavy drinking he does daily while entertaining, "I drink I throw up, I drink I throw up. I think my liver is fucked."

Sex? Yeah, they have it if the girl pays. But that's not their job. As one host put it, "If I have sex with her, at that point there won't be anything else I can give her." They chat, flirt heavily, and are great company for these women. "We try to heal them," they say is their main objective.

Director Jake Clennell does a great job of building this story and the facade of this operation. Showing the realism and guilt that comes along once the glam wears off, and true human emotion is exposed. These hosts are constantly talking about being tired and drained all the time. If you think about how much energy and confusion it takes for one man to chat up a single woman. Imagine if that man had to do that all day long with numerous women and be just as charming as the first time they met. And they are different men to different clients. "I get confused what my real personality is."

I can't stop thinking about these guys. Skinny, pale, and edgy? Where's my checkbook?!
But more than that, the service they provide is much more than some drinks and company for these women. Watch it.


Man, I need to go to Japan.


Plot summary courtesy of Netflix

Puppy

"Don't work yourself up,
no ones dead. You're psycho I'm just fuckin' with you."

3.5 Stars

I don't think I would confidently recommend this to others, but personally I thought it was pretty good.

The beginning goes by so fast as if the director just wanted to get the back story out of the way. But he could have started it where he want to with the lead character Lizzie trying to kill herself, with the ole hose from the tailpipe routine, only to be saved by a nearby tow truck driver Aiden. When she wakes, she's tied to a bed and Aiden that is convinced she is Helen, his absent wife. In a hostage situation much like Misery, Aiden keeps Lizzie confined to the house as she plays the roll of Helen.

I love Lizzie's fast thinking through the whole ordeal. Situations movies like this make me think of my mom's quick thinking in her hold-up years ago. Lizzie's wits save her day to day, as Aiden's schizophrenia worsens. Soon the film takes a turn I may have predicted ...or maybe not. I don't know.

In odd scenes I found myself really laughing! I've read in different places that Puppy is a black comedy, but I didn't feel it was so easy to spot. Hey, all I know is when I see someone get hit in the head by a shovel, I'm laughing.

Superbad

"'How old are you?'
'Old enough.'
'Old enough for what?'
'To party.'"

3.5 Stars

But a really good 3.5 movie! Good enough to watch over and over.

If Seth Rogan can keep turning movies out like this he has the potential to be the John Hughes of this generation.

I was so excited to see the return of the 80's teen movie formula.
Teen nerds wanting to make it with chicks, house parties, the mall, booze, and boobs, and above all witty and simply funny writing! Even Seth's outfit was very Chuck reminiscent.

Writers Seth Rogan, and Evan Goldberg started writing this when they were 13-years-old! They just "wanted to see if they could write a movie". Thus the lead characters Seth, and Evan. Fun fact. I love those.

Now lets talk about Fogell/Mclovin. Among a few of us girls we feel he is so cute.
Now, now.
Although he his the most freakishly nerdy guy of the bunch, he is unforgettable. He could go down in the books with some other memorable characters like Farmer Ted,
Louis Skolnick, and The Donger.
There's is one scene I hope some young guys out there catch. Fogell has been trying to get the attention of Nicola, unsuccessfully. But the moment she takes notice of him, it's because he's gotten a renewed confidence, and any girl will look right passed that pasty skin, and glasses when a guy's got the balls to just talk to us. If you have young boys in your life, please pass that lesson down. It's a fact.

In the end, this movie really reminded me (as if I needed reminding) just how much I love boys. They are just so different than us (girls), and their hangups are just so damn cute.

Long live the nerd hero!!

Te doy mis Ojos / Take My Eyes

"If she doesn't answer her phone,
what do you think that means?"

2.5 Stars

Domestic abuse. Let's talk about it.
This film is pretty cut and dry. Wife leaves abusive husband, saying it's over. Husband says I'll change, she's back, and "it's" back, and then she really leaves him for good, the end.

But this movie did have one element that I haven't seen yet. It spent a lot of time showing the audience the husband's side. He attends a therapy group of abusive husbands to show he's "changed", and the issues that him and the other men express are very touching in an odd way.
It goes beyond "I just wanted my dinner on the table at 6:00 not 6:02."
These men are just consumed by fear. The dialogue within the group sounded as if it had been witnessed first hand by the writer.
In the film the husband keeps a journal of his actions, and responses as an excercise for his group. In it he describes what happens to his body as he starts to enrage, and the thoughts that race through his mind as well. It sounds much like a panic attack.
Numb limbs, along with overwhelming, almost blinding fear.
I really respected that angle.

On the other hand, the rest of the movie was just too predictable. Look, I'm not one who enjoys to see women get beat. Yet, this film didn't portray the pain of his wife to me.
I felt good with her final decision, but not fully relieved as if I had seen enough, and really wanted her out of there.
Does that make any sense?

If anything I hope it made sense to at least one man who may have seen it, and realized that he can help.
I never looked at it that way.

Thin

"I want to be thin.
If it takes dying to get there,
so be it."

4 Stars

A truly heartbreaking documentary that follows the lives of four women at the Renfew Rehab Center for treatment of eating disorders.

As I first got into this film I was looking for the painfully thin, horrific bodies. Ready to gasp and point out their jutting bones, and sunken cheeks. But instead, a scarier realisation of how close to death these women actually are, when they have to have their vital signs checked each morning. One woman has her finger tips squeezed to test her tissue and blood flow, and a pulse is searched out as well. These are the things you do when you're not sure someone's alive.
Surprisingly there weren't very many really, really skinny looking people like the twins they show on Access Hollywood when there are no other gossip stories. But the numbers on the scales were 84-91 pounds for each one.

One side I really didn't care for was the staff! They seemed to condescend to their patients, and at times, to me, seemed very insincere. Which I don't feel was any doing by the editing or director. They are just doing their job. Another patient, another problem, another mass of body to weigh and deal with. My opinion.

When the topic of eating disorders come up, I am instantly intrigued. How do they?
What was that first time like? What makes them keep doing it?
Are there any new tricks I haven't heard of yet?
Hey, I'm just asking.
I'm glad this film didn't deal with all of that. It just told their current story of their recovery as it stood right then. It also showed how living in an environment of women, can be hell. We know we can be mean, but put us in an extreme situation of pain and change, and we can get ugly to each other. I just happens.

A powerful scene in particular for me was that of Brittany and one of her therapists. She was asked to draw a realistic outline of her body. The therapist points out that it sort of looks like a stocky man. She then has Brittany stand in the drawing as she traces her true figure over Brittany's outline. It is far smaller in comparison, and Brittany proceeds to write on this canvas all her "problem" areas. With each label you could see how dire this situation is. For her and many other women, and men, this is a life or death issue. Give me thin, or give me death. It's that black and white for them.

After this I am so happy to be in the healthy grey area.