Invincible

"When I told you not to get your hopes up...
didn't mean that I wasn't."

2.5 Stars

I'm such a sucker for these redemption type movies. At least that's what Amazon has said. It just warms me!

This was the true story about a bartender who's lost his other job as a substitute teacher, and then his wife leaves him. Living in Philly in the mid 70's, everyone's loosing their jobs, and struggling to make ends meet. So like men, they turn to football for escape and inspiration.
Unfortunately their Philly Eagles aren't winning, and now they all feel like bigger losers. Until....

The Eagles have open try outs, and guess who makes it?
The rest, actually the whole movie is pretty predictable, but I knew that going in. It was perfect for today's weather, and with these times being as hard as theirs, it was nice to have some Disney inspiration.
They sure know how to dish that shit out.
Thanx Walt!

La Vie En Rose : Haiku Movie Review

"You're astounding!'
"I'm wearing heels!"

4.5 Stars


A bruised childhood

And demons she'd fight forever

She still sings to all

First Snow

"Don't snow the snowman."

2 Stars

This was a waste of time dude.
This salesman ( Guy Pierce), busts his car in the middle of nowhere, and decides to kill time by visiting a fortune teller.
Seen it!
He later tells him he's gonna die come the first snow.
So he figures some old friend of his is out to kill him because of a money laundering scheme gone wrong.
So now we spend the majority of the movie watching this this guy become totally paranoid that he's going to be murdered, and chasing this fortune teller around for answers. I understand the film was supposed to be building tension, but it just didn't read. It also seems that Pierce is getting pigeonholed in this character since his role in Memento. Too bad.

Finally we get to a climax of cash, and guns, and a loony, and you think "Alright we're gettin somewhere!"
But it ended up to be anti-climactic. After all the crap they put us through, homie gets hit by a car on the first snow...?!

I was so happy to just be done with it.

Sin Destino : Haiku Movie Review

"Fucking airplanes!"

Student film, maybe?

Drugs, bad sex, no rock and roll

Complete waste of time

The Dead Girl

"-You're not kissing me.
You're just lying there like you
want me to rape you!'

-Okay.'"

4 Stars

I was pleasantly surprised! I didn't think this movie was going to be as class, as it was.
Since the previews, and print show mostly Brittany Murphy I thought it was going to be another on of her movies. Cool thing is, she's in it for a short time, and by the time we meet her, you kinda care for her.

The story is broken up into chapters of different women, and how they are connected to this dead girl.
The Stranger who finds her, The Sister who believes she's family, The Wife who could help her, and The Mother who's looking for her.
Each story is short but just enough. I loved them all. The format really remides me of one of the best films I've ever seen, Nine Lives. Watch it.

I was happy to see so many great actors in this movie.
Who knew? Collette, Ribisi <3, onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiINWC-GFC9QouQM03BeBQtmVd_plIfgn7Xz2jMbhR9mPmp99PVeXMlRXPqIh4a-7Za1PuQyi6WQFWmrYhZxw637aNDlunWF3NTDaWyYDgpctZ_bK1NBZlFTQlBTHrpqvyislejJivf85gS/s1600-h/thedeadgirl3.jpg">

21

"Winner, winner, chicken dinner!"

3 Stars

I was, in the beginning, really excited to see the story of the MIT Blackjack Team.
I wanted a "true story", but I got a movie "based on actual events". In other words, a good story for a Hollywood movie.

Based on the book Bringing Down the House, 21 is the story of a group of MIT math students who used their smarts to count cards and take the house(es) of Vegas.
And a-one two three four, you know the rest.
Big wins, no worries, someone gets lost in the game, and then it's not fun anymore, and then you're caught.

One thing that I was really disappointed with was that there was no real "good times" montage. Hello? These are college kids in Vegas, winning whale like money, and they show just a clip or two of them in a limo, and shopping at Louis Vuitton. I've made a better Vegas "good times" montages, and I'm no where near high roller status.

The ending was very Hollywood.
I was hoping to see at least a short court scene, but it was taken in a direction that had me saying "What?".
I remembered when this whole MIT thing went down in the 90's. It was fascinating! I think the Vegas Gaming Commission should have fronted some money for the movie development to show the true story, and to prove that if you count cards, you get caught.
I bet those MIT students aren't having any "good times" montages now. But according to this movie, everyone's fine.
I expected more.

First Sunday

"I'm 'onna beat you till candy come out!"

2.5 Stars

I love Kat Williams and will watch anything just to see him for a second cause I know he's gonna kill.
Though he's predominant in the promos, his role is fairly small. Too bad.
But I was pleased to see Tracy Morgan too. That fool CRACKS ME UP! He can just look at someone, and I'm dyin'.

The story doesn't really matter, it's cheap.
Ice Cube and Tracy need money and decide to rob their local
church, which has been raising money for upgrades.
I'm sure you can guess the rest.
They befriend the church goers they get the money legit, and are acquitted on all charges.

I wouldn't recommend First Sunday to people, unless I know that THEY know what kind of movie it is.
A cheap black comedy with my man Kat.
I'll tell you one thing though,
it ain't no Soul Plane.

Sex and The City

"Did I dream it?"

4 Stars

First of all, I don't think I've ever been in a room with so many women!
It was really strange.
And these women (humble as they may have been) dressed up for the movie. On a Sunday afternoon! I even encountered some women in the bathroom after the show who were complaining about their feet hurting from wearing their heels that day.

The movie was great. After reading other reviews it seems as though you love it or hate it. Personally I wasn't looking for some brilliant piece of cinema. The show was fluff and I expected the movie to be fluff too.
And majority of it was, but I was impressed with how deep (I felt anyway) Carrie's pain went.
We've seen Carrie low before, but this was LOOoooow. For me that's when it turned into a movie. This went passed girly TV drama. I was feelin' it.
I was also feelin' the opening credits. I love the overture of sorts of each characters story line with footage from past episodes. A great way to put the viewer back in the rhythm of the show.

Surprisingly it wasn't SJP who shined throughout the movie. It was Kristin Davis!
She balanced the difficult tightrope of drama and comedy flawlessly!
In one scene (you'll know it when you see it) she shocks the viewer with her bravery and anger, and exits in such a way that makes you chuckle. I wouldn't doubt if she gets nominated for an Oscar.
Okay, maybe a Golden Globe. Okay, SAG Award at least, but she should totally be recognized!

Cattrall was good at being Samantha, always has always will. But I'm glad the script knows that her shtick is getting old.
Miranda's story was very touching, and at times, yes, brought me to tears.
Also Jeniffer Hudson, who has been slammed in reviews, did very well. She had such a small roll, but it was a great shot in the arm to this cast we know and love so well.
Hey, someone had to keep it real.

Sex and The City did what it knows best. I showed the unexplainable, and rich fulfillment that friendship among women can give. These relationships are a unique, and remarkable experience, and I was warmed to see it reflected in this movie.

Loverboy

"Your Mother is correct.
They are ugly."

2 Stars

I think the folks behind this movie (including director Kevin Bacon) probably thought this was going to spark up conversation, or shock and for me it didn't do either.
It actually kinda blew.

They way Netflix explained it, it sounded alright.
But then I just re-read it and now I have no idea what I was thinking

Emily (played by Kevin Bacon's true wife Kira Sedgwick) wants to have a baby. Real bad. So she does her own version of the movie Twins, where she bangs a lot of different dudes across the nation that have the qualities she would like for a father. She even bangs John Legend!!?
But none of those didn't really pan out. Until... she bangs some dude that is staying at the same hotel and ya'll know...
it only takes one.

So she has this kid, nicknames him Loverboy and is totally obsessed. She wants to be the only thing in his life and him in hers. Throughout the movie he's about 7-ish. She won't let him go to school, interact with others, and the moment he shows any Independence she panics. Does she realize that he won't stay a boy forever? For a minute there I thought she was gonna kill him. You know that "If I can't have you" type thing.
And a very annoying thing is that they don't use contactions when talking to each other. "I do not want to/ I cannot", SHUT UP!! I have a really hard time with fantasy talk like they do throughout. It's retarded.

In and out of the movie there are flashbacks of her childhood. Bacon plays her father and is hot!! I hate that I couldn't find a picture of him for this. He had the tight poly pants, the satin shirts, and the best rose colored aviator shades on, and smoking at all times. Marisa Tomei plays her mom, and while the movie was trying to portraySedgwick as the sex pot while she's banging-cross-America, really Marisa was way hotter.


This movie was a real waste of time.
Thank God I had paperwork to do while it was on.
If you plan on watching it I advise you do the same.

Gone Baby Gone

"When I was young, I asked my priest how could you get into heaven and still protect from all the evil in the world.
He told me what God said to his children.
'You are sheep among wolves. Be wise as serpents, yet innocent as doves.' "

5 Stars

I had heard from so many that this was good and they were right. I honestly didn't know much about it except what all the buzz it got during Oscar season.
It was Ben Affleck's directorial debut starring his younger brother Casey, and that's pretty much all I knew.

I was intrigued during that time about this actress I had never heard of before Amy Ryan, who was nominated for Best Supporting Actress. My good friend was certain she would win, and could not stop talking about how impressed he was with her accent considering she's a Broadway star from New York. Apparently so was the crew.
I read that her accent was so convincing that security wouldn't let her on set the first day of shooting thinking she was a fan on the street. When a crew member finally recognized her and let her through, she knew she had the dialect down.

The talent in this film is phenomenal. Above directing, I was glad to see Ben Affleck wrote the screenplay for it as well and he did a great collaborative job. Casey is quickly becoming a bankable actor for drama.
And a heartthrob...
He did such a good job as a man under pressure who had genuine concern for this lost girl.
I loved his fast thinking during a hold up at the bar. Great scene.

A young married couple serve as detectives to their small Boston neighborhood. When a little girl goes missing, her aunt seeks their help to find her, aside from the police.
The mother of the girl is supper trashy, and it seems as though she doesn't really get, or care that her little girl could be in serious danger, or even dead! Which is only one side of this story that makes this girl's disappearance so intriguing.

When I talk to people who have seen this movie I ask them, after the many praises we give it, "What was the right thing?" And the usual response is a hefty sigh and the same answer I have, "I don't know."

The end of this film really left me asking what would I do, and could I actually follow through with either side.
Is the right thing, always the right thing?
I go back and forth on the out come. At times I think it was a very selfish decision, and other times I feel the injustice had to be exposed.
Anything that makes me think this long, and makes me question my own choices, is just brilliant.

Flyboys

"He's just in shock."

1 Star

Are you kidding?!! This was like a parody of a movie. I turned it off somewhere in the middle, I totally didn't care about this movie. And that's a bummer cause I heard so many great reviews from people I know, and trust!

I think this was supposed to be a true story 'er something. Well I would be hecka pissed if I were one of those dudes.
Some country boy wants to fly planes as a way to getting out of jail time. Turns out the rebel is a natural when it comes to flying. Yawn...
So the other pilots who have put in their time hassle him, and they shut up once they see his skills. Ok...
So stupid, I can't get over it.

The victorious musical score was way premature. Playing while he's training as if by shooting at a bale of hay, he's winning the war. The special effects were very disappointing too. I remember seeing the previews and being impressed with 'em, but I guess they're only impressive when you see them for a split second.

Also, the upper class man know-it-all is so annoying. I counted 3 scenes of him doing the cheesiest comebacks!! Each one went something like this.
Crowed place, kid says, "This plane tried to shoot me!"
Voice from the back of the room, "Did it have 2 swords on it?"
The crowd parts, he's sitting at the back of the room, he stands up like he's some bad ass, and starts to tell some story which is supposed to make him look like more of a bad ass as he starts to tell his tale.
3 times that shtick happened, and I only watched half of it.

Positives?
This might have been a better movie had I been sick and hopped up on NyQuil. The kind where you don't really care what's on the TV as long as you can hear the hum.
And the boots were incredible.

Poor James Franco.

In Bruges

"They're filming midgets!"

4 Stars

It's pronounced "brooj", which is a small town in Belgium where two hit men are sent to hideout after a job in London. I guess you would put this under the dark comedy category. I've never been too keen on that term, I don't know why because, well... it fits!

I love the little odd couple thing these two guys got going on. One guy totally loves the town, the other totally hates it. "If I'd grown up on a farm and was retarded, Bruges might impress me, but I didn't, so it doesn't."

The fun really stops for Ray (Colin Farrell) when he accidentally shoots and kills a young boy.
"The little boy..." Unable to cope with his actions he contemplates suicide, while both Ray and his partner Ken (Brendan Gleeson who I totally want to get hugged by) rethink the ethics of their line of work.

There's not too much that can be said about this movie.
It was good, entertaining, and funny, and I would totally recommend it to anyone that asked.
Of course there's more hi-jinks, some drugs and boozin, a pretty lady, and one of the funniest midget scene out there. But in the end, it's a tad forgettable, still a good time none the less.

I have since realised how many people I know that have actually been to Bruges.
Go figure.

A Cry in the Dark

"I don't think a lot of people realise how important innocence is to innocent people."

3.5 Stars

The true story of Lindy Chamberlain. A woman whom during a camping trip to Ayer's Rock in outback Australia 1980. She witnessed a dingo steal her three month old daughter Azaria from their family tent. Azaria's body was never found, causing police to question her story further. Overexposure in the media causes speculation that perhaps Lindy killed her daughter. The media blitz turns into a murder trial and the Chamberlain family fights to clear their name.

The JonBenet case came to mind while watching this.
The media (myself included) really wanted the parents to be at fault, or involved in something so bad. Honestly, the parents are the only ones who really know what happened that night.
If they are (were) innocent, it must have felt like screaming for help at soundproof glass. I bet they saw this during that time. History does repeat itself doesn't it?

If people dig hard enough through someones crap (even yours) they can totally make a case against you. For anything! The cops confiscated a bible from their home which had a passage highlighted that had the word "tent" in it. "Ooo! We got 'em!" People are crazy.

As you might have guessed this is yet another movie I can check of my Meryl Streep list. She is solid gold, man! Someone as talented as that must be coo-coo, you think?
My mom has been really into a book lately by Shirley Maclaine called Saging While Aging. She's been sharing tidbits with me. Knowing my love for Meryl, she relayed a conversation Maclaine had with her in her book. Talking to Meryl she asked about the movie A Cry in the Dark, specifically the courtroom scene of her on the stand. "How did you do it?" Maclaince asked. "I was the dingo" she said.
See? Crazy brilliant.

Sublime

"Welcome to Outback Steakhouse."

2 Stars

I really don't see the point.
This movies goes round and round and there's no real pay off. I'm all good with the un-fairytale endings, I dig 'em! But this was just, well retarded. It reminded me of those pointless jokes that keep going and going only to have the punchline be simple and obvious and not funny. "Hey clown! Fuck you!" I'll tell you that one later. Just like this movie, it sucks.

Dude goes into the hospital for this first colonoscopy.
Soon one weird thing after another starts happening. They switched his chart and he got someone else's surgery. There's some mysterious wing of the hospital that is doing raw and dirty surgeries to people. He gets his leg amputated, bangs a nurse, witnesses a murder, wheels in on his wife banging his doctor, and some dude named Mandingo cuts off his fingers and toes!! On top of all this wackiness there's a shrieking eagle throughout the whole movie, and it doesn't tie into anything. Like I was watching The Falconer sketch on SNL.

With all of this going on could you believe it felt like absolutely nothing was happening? I was watching this with some friends. Freaky said "I feel like I'm just waiting for something to happen already."
I'm sure this would make for a better TV movie on the SciFi channel.
This movie was a recommendation as well. And I was feeling so bad while watching it. Sorry V.
But hey, it's not like she made it, right?

Juno

"Oh you think your hot shit 'cause you get to sit over there and play pictionary, well guess what? My five year old daughter can do that and let me tell you, she's not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed. So until you have your own kid, why don't you just go back to nightschool in Manteno and get a real job."

4 Stars

Though the hype on this movie has really died down, I saw it when it was really at a frenzy. During the opening credits, I could feel my eyes rolling a bit, cause it all ready felt like I'd seen this before. But I let it go, took a deep breath, and decided to simply watch the movie. This is a skill I'm trying my best to master.

This movie is the definition of charm. A dry and witty teenage girl, Juno, gets pregnant by her equally cute boyfriend played by Micheal Cena (Superbad). She chooses to give the baby up for adoption, but wants to make sure it will have the best parents she can find.

Ellen Page who plays Juno, has the best delivery which is really what makes the writting shine.
Speaking of writting, the screenplay was written by a first time screenwriter Diablo Cody who began writing Juno on her down time from stripping. (I know, right?!)
Micheal Cena is as cute as ever, but I am concerned that he may be pidgeonholed into the akward teen role much like John Heder of Nepolean Dynamite fame. He should stay away from comedy for a while and wiggle his way into a good drama. Oh oh, and no thrillers either!

Yeah this movie is cute and funny, but it really gave me some thoughts on teen pregnancy. Teens just aren't meant to have babies. As Juno put it she's "dealing with situations beyond [her] copasoty".
Juno really felt she was doing the right thing, and she was. It was just heartbreaking to watch her find out that her chosen parents weren't as perfect as she thought. I remeber being young an thinking, why don't people just do one thing, or stop doing another. It should just be that simple. Since I've gotten a little older I've found that the most simple issue can become really complicated. A lesson that teens who are faced with parental responsiblilty are forced to learn very fast.

When I left the theater I wanted Juno (the movie) to be a little tshatshke that I would put on a shelf. I would look at it and feel a little gooffy for liking it, but it would make me smile. Maybe I would make it in the form of a cheeseburger. Cause there's nothing like calling your best friend on your cheeseburger phone to tell her your pregnant, and need an abortion.
See? Charming.

There Will Be Blood

"Give me the blood,
so I can get out of here!"

5 Stars

Okay, when I first walked out of the theater I was very impressed with Daniel Day-Lewis' performance, and wasn't too thrilled with the movie as a whole telling my boyfriend "It' wasn't the best movie I've ever seen."
(It has been hyped a whole lot.)
But as the days pass since I've seen it, I am more and more interested, intrigued, and excited about this movie.

On the radio I heard a reviewer say, "that you wouldn't think a movie about the oil industry in the early 1900's would be interesting." He felt it was more about a father and a son. To some extent I would agree, but there are for me so many facets that are close to home.

Daniel Plainview (Day-Lewis) is an oil prospector finding new oil lands and buying them up with this young son H.W. at his side.
As some of you may know, I work at my families pawnshop founded by my grandfather, ran by my mother, and sees me as VP. Just as H.W. cooed in his basket at the oil drill as a baby, I was taking naps between the VCRs that were in loan as a kid. And little is different for my mother as well. I know what it feels like to see business go on around you with youthful eyes. I may not have known exactly what was going on, but I knew it was real, and it was important.
Love a scene where Daniel tells H.W. about his plans for a pipeline. I know the feeling of having the business click for me as it did for H.W. right then.
"So we can save on shipping costs."

When Daniel decides to buy some profitable land he has to oblige the locals. He ends up butting heads with a preacher named Paul Sunday, played by Paul Dano from Little Miss Sunshine fame. When I saw him in that I looked up all I could on him, and knew he had it in him to be a good actor. Even though The King sucked, Dano was great in that too.
Come to think of it, he played a religious freak in that one too! Hmmm.
I felt the Paul Sunday character wanted to be a star, and used the stage of the church as his theater. He starts to act like a bratty celebretard too, until Daniel put him in his place.
One thing's for shure, that kid can play car-azy!

Now lets talk about the man. Daniel Day-Lewis is.. man, I'm trying to think of a way to say it without sounding like a movie poster! "Phenomenal. Chilling. Powerful. Astonishing."
As I was watching this I was genuinely concerned for the actor opposite Day-Lewis. I just kept thinking if that were me I would be Frightened to hear these words, with that much power, with that much intensity looking right into my eyes!
I think I might pee a little.

This movie totally stimulated my love for everything turn of the 20th century.
The costumes, the very dangerous working and living conditions, and most importantly the teeth!! No pearly whites in this one, A+. Not mention the best hangover scene. Ever.

Yup, Biggy was right. "Mo money, mo problems."

Hostel : Part II

"What's the code?!"

"Fuck! You!"

3 Stars

Awe man, that line killed me!!
I was hecka laughing, to hear it is
just so funny.
Even though this is a horror movie,
I found I laughed a whole lot. I watched it with my boyfriend and a couple other friends, and really, that's the way to watch it. Otherwise I would have gotten really fed up and turned it off halfway through.

I did see the first one. I liked it. I thought it was a well rounded horror flick, and it felt new. Quentin Tarantino backing it didn't hurt either, and he's behind this one too.

Return to the place where all your nightmares come true in this sequel the the hit gore fest. When three young American take a break from their international studies and check in to a Slovakian hostel, they have no idea they've walked into a chamber of horrors, where, for a price, wealthy psychopaths can live out their most gruesome fantasies by torturing and murdering visitors.

What was really fun was to see Heather Matarazzo (Welcome to The Dollhouse) all grown up. She does some frontal nudity too. In the first Hostel there were boobs left and right, geeze. So in this one Eli Roth gives us some male frontal. Ooo la la.

There's really not much else to say about this movie. It's horror, it's fun, and I highly recommend watching it with friends. If you do, having one person around whose particularly squeamish makes the movie that much better.

Perfume

"That's a really good perfume."



3 Stars

(He's so cute when he says that!) But besides that, what was up with this movie?
The first three quarters are great! The passion, the curiosity, the transcendental emotions of scent... awesome. But WTF was that ending about?

When I first saw the preview of this I was in. As it played in theaters I heard some terrible reviews on it.
I still gave it a chance, and wow, it was beautiful.
The period was great (some real grit just how I like it), and this boy's passion, and extraordinary gift of scent that drives him mad. Sounds good...
But would you really attach the term "orgy" to that?
Yeah. Not to be a spoiler, but the end is a huge mess of an orgy! What?! I just felt that it was so gratuitous, and very very unnecessary. It's like they took a perfectly good movie, and wrecked it with nonsense. I understand it was based on a novel, and maybe the written word explains it better, or sensual, or... something. Ugh.
Apart from Dustin Hoffman's performance, I wouldn't recommend this to anyone.
Pah-leez.

Pirates of the Caribbean : At Worlds End

"You give an agreeable macabre to any delirium."

4 Stars

First of all, are you sure this movie is for kids? Geeze, the first thing you watch is a massive hanging of people, including a kid!
I tend to have a hard time watching Johnny Depp doing his shtick in each of these movies. If I don't just relax and just watch it, I feel embarrassed for him at times. Is that just me? I guess he's the only kid friendly element. Well, there is that funny monkey though...

One thing is for sure. If it's a Disney movie, it's going to be quality.
They know how to put on a show. I see the Disney logo, and I know I'm in good hands. The special effects are flawless. I really liked the score too! It kept the pulse of an epic adventure and blended Asian influence smoothly. The costumes are beautiful!
Details, details, details. The one in particular I just loved was Keira's Asian inspired captain's costume.
I'm telling you, man... Disney.

This cast is great! I love Jeffery Rush in this role. That man can deliver a line, and has perfect comedic timing. I have a love/hate thing with Orlando Bloom. I liked him in this one, probably because I'm a sucker for proposals, and this had to be by far, the best proposal/wedding scene ever!
Keira Knightley. The whole time I can't stop thinking that she is so Mr. Depp's type of girl, and I'm positive he flirts with her constantly on set. He is a Gemini after all.
I'm always looking for it on screen.
And I was really excited to see Chow Yun-Fat, another fine actor. I would love to see more Asian actors of his caliber. Or just more Asian actors for that matter.

It took me a while to get the plot down. I just figured it would all explain it's self through the course of the film, which it did. It was good fun, just like the last two.
A quality, quality series. The ships, the lore, the bad teeth (love the teeth), and the action make for yet another Disney classic.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters : Haiku Movie Review

"I'll workout on your face!"

5 Stars


This movie was made for me.

I can't stop quoting this toon!

M. Shake. I love you.